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Episode 82: Sister Credonia: #1 Mass Murdering Cult Leader
In this episode Eli and Mel bring you the story of an Ugandan woman with caviar dreams. So how did she get there? Well turns out, if you’re smart, not ugly, and have a vagina, it’s easier than you think! I mean, she went from setting an ex-boyfriend’s belongings on fire, to the funny farm, to buying a bar and brewing banana beer, to prostituting herself and murdering motorists for their pocket change, all the…
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Episode 81: Phoenix Jones: No Country For Heroes
The D.U.S.E. is ringing in Black History Month in style! In this episode Eli will regale you with the tale of a black man in Seattle who decided enough was enough! Donning a ski-mask and a fedora, this would-be hero fights off mobs of attackers until the cops show up to finally do their job. With an addition of a mere tens of thousands of dollars in building the ultimate super suit, the superhero identity…
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Episode 80: The Amazing Chris-Chan: The Smelly Fish Saga
In this episode Eli and Mel cover a slew of interesting and totally not made up characters that revolved around Chris-Chan’s early internet career. Eli felt gross researching this episode so it’s his obligation to make you feel gross listening to the fruits of his labor! But maybe he’s doing it intentionally by channeling his inner “Chris-Chan”. There truly isn’t an act too low for those of us here at the D.U.S.E. to ensure the…
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Episode 79: Saint Ken “El Bastardo” McElroy
In this episode of the D.U.S.E. Eli retells the life and times of a man so great that he might actually have been a saint. Saint Ken? Saint Redneck? Whatever the case may be, he fits the definition of a Christian saint. I mean after all, he did have multiple child brides, he was the wrathful God of a small town in Missouri, he brought with him pestilence, plague, and the deaths of first born…
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Episode 78: Cryptids: Wish I Had A Sweater
In this episode Eli and Mel sit back and relax along a very nice and totally not polluted river bank in West Virginia when suddenly a giant two-headed monstrosity breaches the water’s surface and drags Mel off to its den for a midnight snack. Does Eli bother to go looking for her corpse? Not a goddam chance! Would you hop into the water after watching your pal get dragged down kicking and screaming? Exactly. But…
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Episode 77: The Adventures of Guy Ballard Part III: My Cat’s Nipples
In this amazing installment of The Adventures of Guy Ballard, Mel confesses her fascination with feline anatomy, but can you really blame her? Especially when the episode covers a cult leader who totally wasn’t having gay adventures in the woods of Mount Shasta with strange men while his wife thinks he’s communing with “God” or when the same man molests a mountain lion just after traversing literal space and time with a man hell bent…
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Episode 76: Keith “The Beast” Gibson: A Trustworthy Citizen
In this episode Eli and Mel bring you the story of a man so trustworthy that not only was he paroled early, they kept paroling him over and over again. And when the D.U.S.E. says “trusted” we mean he’s as trustworthy as a rabid fat woman set loose in an ice cream cake factory. But, minus all the guns, crack, and wanton murder, can you blame the guy? It’s not his fault that society was…
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Episode 75: Christmas Special: JonBenet Ramsey: Xmas Beauty Queen
Want to know what’s worse than seeing the notification for a new D.U.S.E. episode on Christmas Day? Being a child beauty pageant queen! In this very merry Christmas special Eli and Mel deliver you the finest evil the holidays can offer, and no we aren’t talking about your Aunt Marge’s blueberry cobbler. The story of JonBenet Ramsey captured the attention of an international audience. The police wanted to railroad the people that actually committed the…
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DUSE After Dark: Where’s The Beef?
Mel rants about the state of American cuisine: what the elites think is for dinner, Californians drinking their own urine, Bill Gates bullying American farmers, and the terrible scourge of cow farts. Meanwhile in Iowa, Satanists are victimized by a hate crime when a statue of Baphomet loses its head, leading Eli to give a long-winded sermon about how stupid people are on “X” and how great worshiping Satan really is! And of course, stay…
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Episode 74: The Amazing Chris-Chan: The Emergence Saga
What was once a great shit-a-pillar has now risen out of its shit-pupa and metamorphosized into a great big shit-erfly known as Jesus Christ Chris-Chan Sonichu! In this episode Eli and Mel discuss Chris-Chan’s rise to stardom with a descent into his infamous Sonichu web comic and a few of his early antics that would ordinarily land a man in jail! There’s everything from his obsession with a childhood friend, being hogtied at a Target,…
